keep the faith

2012-01-22T23:07:00.002+08:00

1 hour more to Chinese new year 2012! supposedly dying this coming December so in case this is everyone's last new year, HAPPY NEW YEAR.

HAHA what auspicious words to welcome the new year.

k anyway every year's new year gets as boring as my face shown above. Maybe age and excitement level for new year is inversely proportionate. no more excitement of bringing my new clothes out to swirl and twirl around in the house a few days before, no more desire of painting my nails ( maybe because nowadays i do it so often it lost its novelty ), no more pent up excitement that keeps me awake the entire night ( now when my head touches the pillow i lose myself HAHA).

Had 3 reunion meals this year, puzzled too but ohwell i never say no to food haha. Dinner at Aunt's was insane. My uncle was right about my aunt, saying she could cook for a whole kampung, plus my dad got 2kg worth of sashimi as a side dish. 2 KG YO. that's about more than a pro sumo wrestler can handle. Shiok like noone's business, my stomach was happy that night. Lunch at granddad's, where i battled hordes of baby roaches myself because mum was scared. Good thing for them it was roaches, not lizards. And dinner back at home with just ourselves. i see 1kg extra on my face and i don't care, like i always tell B, i love my butterfly arms and fat cheeks.

Rainy night again! Feels good to know i can hide under my covers tonight with no work tomorrow. Work is the bane of my life, only the money keeps me going. And am feeling guilty that till this day i haven't roped in bestie yet. I thought i got promised a job along with my bestfiriend but things dont always turn out the way you expect them. Still secretly praying every single day that i get news about her being able to join me.

Goodnight, happy new year to all you babies out there. (yes i only want to wish babies, not adults who irritate me at new year.)

2012-01-12T20:44:00.000+08:00

working as an admin stuff makes me reluctant to touch the computer when im back home, thus explaining the lack of updates of life. what can i say? i wake up at 630am everyday, reach office at 830am, knock off at 6pm, settle down back at home at 8pm, watch tv for an hour, and sleep.exciting.

HAHAHA. don't judge, this is the only way to kill boredom and earn some money. Heard a temp staff is contemplating her resignation before chinese new year, am secretly hoping bestie gets to replace her and work on the same level as me please! miss her so much ): i know i've been seeing her for 8 years straight, but i can tell you in your face i will never NOT miss her. I'll never make another friend as close to me as her. AIYA no one will ever understand this HAHAHA this is not called being mushy or retarded, and neither are we lesbians.

anyway my weekends are much more happening : last last weekend, B and i made a trip down to ECP with initial plans to cycle. but you know things never go according to plans HAHA because lazing around on a picnic mat with junk food was a much better idea.

this is him, yawning away and in the lepak mood.

Last weekend, bestie and i attended NTU communication studies talk at grand hyatt and i really really really hope i have a shot at getting in, together with her because recently i started judging people alot hahaha and people i met at the talk...i don't know lets just say im not in their league.

Last sunday, B had his inter-tertiary judo competition at SIM, which crabz and SM and i went down to support him. and with our awesome presence (k kidding) i meant with his awesome technique,skills and ninja-nimbleness, B GOT A GOLD MEDAL YO.don't siao siao. Though his opponent's school and supporters were all such big asshole and dicks and were shouting crude suggestions to their friend on how to win that i literally glared blazing daggers at them ( like gungho only me against 100 of them HAHA), B won anyway so suck that up idiots.

yay us! (Sorry crabz & SM our picture have to be smaller if not crabz's face kena blocked by all the side toolbars)

yay you! judomaster-doctor-clarinetist-lifeguard-pianist-cook. please tell me one reason why i shouldn't feel ashamed of myself for being skill-less HAHA

OKAY ITS FRIDAY TOMORROW BEST DAY OF THE WEEK YAY
burnt out from work. tummy and womb not a having their best moments.

2012-01-07T09:38:00.000+08:00

HELLO.

been working every weekday and me being very gutless, dare not use facebook or surf the net even when im done with assigned tasks so i was desperate enough to bring 2 books there to read during free time. to think i swore off books after As.

Office work is boring but at least i have a chair and proper meal times. Office politics is disgusting but ohwell might as well get used to it now before i get shocked in my working life in future.

the earning money part is motivating me so i'll carry on and work this job out. i really really really cannot wait for bestie to join me. i need someone i can behave like myself with. Been acting demure and all with the new girls at work HAHA but they're really all nice girls to hang out with too (: [omg first smiley of the post]

but through this past 2 weeks, i made a confirmation that as each year passes, i become more & more of a social recluse, and i can only feel totally at ease with a few people whom i can name off within the countable number of fingers and toes i have. This is not called emo, this is called getting old and not wanting to make friends.

BBQ-ed at crabz house yesterday, seriously these people are all so _____ (think of a word with a positive connotation, a really positive one) love every gathering with them.

Everyone is starting school in 2 days. Means less meetings and less outings ):

2012-01-01T11:37:00.001+08:00

(thanks na for the pictures!)

HAPPY 2012 EVERYBODY.

2011-12-31T13:01:00.001+08:00

Started work for a week already! okay now i think i prefer going to school haha though the getting-money-part is good but the facing-people-you-cannot-click-with is bad.

met 1038 for manhattan's last night, good to see everyone.

and met awesome people for prata supper, laughed so much till i think i got a sorethroat and woke up with a blocked nose. love them all.

countdown bbq tonight!

2011-12-25T13:46:00.000+08:00

Another year, another Christmas!
Been awaiting this year's Christmas for so long. Finally done with all the major hurdles in my life and getting to celebrate xmas without worries is just bliss.

I don't really have a clear idea of what 2011 was about, probably a very much turbulent year but it passed quicker than i expected. Learnt to handle new things in new ways, and i now look at life in a brand new perspective. Not anticipating 2012 much because doomsday is coming on 12/12/12 HAHAHA k kidding.

For now, im just experiencing contentment, for a wonderful loving family, wonderful loving B, selective close friends, food on my table, sheltered roof over my head and money in my wallet.

Merry Christmas everyone!

2011-12-22T11:50:00.000+08:00

starting work tomorrow! Having this phobia of working thanks to the experience 2 years ago, i think that was the 3rd lowest point of my life EVER. Hopefully the people there are nice and give me simple stuff to do considering that my brain degeneration has begun. Praying that the airconditioning there isn't strong enough to kill me and that i have my meals on time this time round.

looking forward to the first pay day!

2011-12-21T10:59:00.000+08:00

Things that happened so far :

Best and i went to apply for a job at uniqlo, but now we regret it and are backing out haha
My house is finally repainted, and i can sleep in peace with curtains back on now.
B and i went picnic-ing on an extremely rainy day but it was still a happy day!
B and i went to orchard road in a bid to get some xmas shopping done but got sore legs instead
18 years of my life, i always associated James Bond with Mission impossible.slap me now
Today im hoping we can catch mission impossible!

2011-12-15T11:53:00.002+08:00

Been seeing B alot more these few days since his exams ended and its a very good thing because the past 10 months have been hell haha seriously dating once a month is just lonesome HAHAHA

i would like to commend B for being such a patient pig and being willing to catch Breaking Dawn with me. I absolutely understand how all guys shun away from this show hehehe thanks pig you're the most accommodating i promise i wont fall asleep when we watch tron-like movies again.

and we saw a rainbow while walking too while the entire world remained oblivious to it and we were saying damn loudly "LOOK RAINBOW.RAINBOW LEH." to try to see if we could arouse anyone's attention to the rainbow too but ok we failed HAHAHA.

Christmas is coming, im just happy about it because this christmas and this coming new year i have nothing to worry about and i can just be happy glutton and chomp my bakkwa like nobody's business.

okay so life hasn't been much of a big hooha nowadays, im just holed up at home most of the time watching drama, eating, watching drama, eating and watching drama, unless i have to go out and im contented.

for now, because my house is undergoing painting, the smell is killing me, the fact that i have no curtains in my room anymore disturbs me and keeps me awake because im paranoid that the people opposite are watching me sleep with my mouth open and drooling, the fact that because there are no curtains, i wake the moment the sun rises which is bloody early because i am like a morning glory thanks, and because there are no curtains this bird keeps flying to my window to chirp nonstop, thanks bird.

angsty

2011-12-11T14:31:00.000+08:00

Woke up today and thought it was 7am because it was dark all around the room. Then i squinted at the clock at realised it was 1030am.omg congratulate me please, this is the first morning that i've woken up later than 9am since As ended.

But the chilly wind is killing me. terribly cold.

2011-12-09T10:05:00.003+08:00

Baking and K yesterday!

Told myself to leave half an hour later already so i could for once, be the last person to reach. HAHA biggest joke ever that i still ended up the earliest and had to wait half an hour before someone came to rescue me from being stuck up at the platform. i should adjust my clock such that its one hour later than everyone else's.

haven't seen all these awesome people for such a long time, especially since A's kept me from meeting them properly, so i really loved yesterday. Like what Sharon said, it was amazing how we could all laze around in the living room and entertain each other for 4 hours, we could be roomies HAHAHA.

We also realised what great cooks Sikai and Shahril were. I mean all us girls just waited outside for food heh ( we gotta save our tender skins from getting burnt by oil! ) and they just deep fried platter after platter of finger food that surprising were edible! utterly touched. Social stereotypes have been reversed, males are now proven worthy cooks more than females.

K was hilarious cause half of us in the room were down with a bad throat so we were literally screaming and shouting more than singing except for eng secretly must be a closet-singer. hahaha proved my point that i could read chinese except for mistaking 绕 as 烧.

instant noodles for dinner around the table before we bade farewell to crabz who's leaving today ):

Take care and eat ur paracetamol on time crabz! lub lub, beah says byebye too.

eventful week i must say, at least im out of the house most of the week.

2011-12-07T11:09:00.001+08:00

i think im coming down with something. i can feel an inflamed throat.

still wanting to make it for tmr's baking + K session. pleasepleaseplease.

i should go take something to make it better.

2011-12-05T20:32:00.002+08:00

hahahahaha.

managed to scout for _______ today and more __________ and hopefully get _________ done by christmas. Hoping that it doesn't look like shit because my art skills are close to none at all.

okay good job squeezed the possibility of many trips into one today, and thanks ted for being my model and not getting upset with me for taking so long HAHA i know you're the patient-nest sister ever!

TUESDAY IS FINALLY COMING. oleh leh leh leh!

2011-12-03T17:54:00.003+08:00

migraines bring headache.

headache brings nausea.

nausea brings coldness.

coldness brings un-hungriness

un-hungriness brings sadness

sadness brings need-to-sleep

migraine you suck. thank goodness for medication.

2011-12-02T10:32:00.002+08:00

sushi tei with crabz yesterday! Amazing how one month ago we agreed on a dinner date on 1st Dec and it materialized so quickly. Anyway enjoy every single dinner date with her (or lunch date, or random eating sprees anywhere anytime) because... i don't even know how to describe all the insane things we do when we eat. HAHA tried the sashimi salad, sesame icecream, avocado dragon roll ( i only ate it because she said avocada is Jude's favourite fruit but it turned out surprisingly good! ) that crabz introduced and loved them all.

crabz is one worthy, treasured eating and chatting partner. We came to a conclusion that she's a natural Aunt Agony everyone turns to in times of heartbreak hahaha. But really whatever we talked about scared me a little, how people change just like that and leave someone else in total dire straits and struggling to get on with life without them without warning. I can't even imagine myself in the shoes of the protagonist we were talking about.argh k dont think dont think haha

next tentative date on the 29th when she's back from pheeleepins.

Christmas shopping with mum cancelled today, guess its gonna be another boring rainy day.

2011-11-30T11:13:00.002+08:00

Not quite the post-A's life i've been expecting to lead. Not quite feeling the hoo-ha i thought i would especially since i've been craning my neck for this day for the past 4 years. but oh well.

deciding if i should catch breaking dawn on my own, havent caught a movie on my own before. And thinking of hopping down to causeway point to shop for nail art alone so i can kill time at home playing with my nails.

its just me to not like to go out with any Tom, Dick or Harry just so i can spend each day doing at least something. Unless you're this important and close person in my life who i feel totally at ease when im out with you, i probably won't take the initiative to date you. okay so my own fault im lying around at home everyday hahaha.

Bestie's coming over later! Sushi Tei with crabz tmr, and Christmas shopping on friday with me mama.

2011-11-29T14:18:00.002+08:00

okay so lets see, i just tried to practice the guitar for 4 hours and the result is :

i can only play "happy birthday" and it sounds funny HAHA. phail.

and im not even going according to what the net says, i kinda plucked the strings and figured out which chord was which.

plus i think my skin is made of tofu, they're so badly blistered so quickly. so this is the price to pay. i should stop being bimbotic and sacrifice my fingers.

seriously at this rate, i think even if you give me a year i cant master the thing.

oh well will just keep giving it a shot till i get it wish me luck.

2011-11-28T22:55:00.002+08:00

been heading to B's house the past few days to visit. Got his knee injured so badly during judo. Although i have many nasty things to say to the fella who caused his injury yet remains nonchalent about it, i think i should maintain my image (not that i have any.) and refrain from doing so. ALTHOUGH when i saw his fb status today about how he won 2 lousy bronze medals in some unknown lousy judo competition and got so tempted to comment "f-you" HAHA. k i didn't. on account that he probably is feeling extremely down about having to spend 1 extra year in J1 already, i leashed in my cynicism and ultimate sarcasm.

Dad got us goreng pisang and goreng-alot-of-other-stuff on the way home after he picked me up from B's place! yums. Even though i think my family eats the unhealthiest foods on earth , i love our daily diet. i mean no restrictions, charkwayteow, minced meat noodles (with extra extra vinegar), cheap&good western food, wanton mee, cheap&good shanghai food, a full table of spicy seafood like stingray and the lot, thousands of satay sticks, okay i can't even finish listing them all. I just love the way we eat like nobody's business and we aren't concerned with any health repercussions at all, neither are we at people's glares. what, at least we aren't fat so suck it up.

anyway i borrowed best friend's guitar to try out if i could pick up a thing or two on my own. But considering that my brain-degeneration has begun one week ago when A's ended, im highly doubting myself now so i probably shall wait for her to come over this week to guide me.

okay mood is back on track and am no longer feeling furry over everything in sight, good sign.

haven't composed such a long post like a wanna-be-novelist for such a long time. Doubting that anyone is even reading this anymore anyway so i shall take it as a way for me to hone my essay skills.

liberated.

2011-11-23T11:30:00.002+08:00

HI ALL I HAVE BEEN LIBERATED.

is this what they call the most awesome feeling and time of your life? (At least until before march comes and the shit results slap me in my face.)

anyway i've been waking up everyday feeling un-guilty for sleeping so much and not waking up to study, walking around the house doing absolutely nothing, lying around the house just thinking of nothing hahaha this is the life.

decided to put off jobhunting till january and regain my life for now first.

met B right after my last paper. i would like to say im very very very very very proud of us, for making it through this arduous journey. And im very,very,very thankful that he's always there to push me on to study and not slack off like i tend to do HAHA. Most importantly, he's always there to give me a joke anytime i need to brighten this gloomy patch of my life. Thankyou love!

Then i met this dear girl yesterday. This is the 2nd big hurdle of our lives that we've crossed together. Honestly, i would have just wanted to roll down the nanyang slope and kill myself if i didnt have her with me. Facing an incessant bunch of damn hardworking and on-the-job people around me in nanyang who studied every single moment of their lives they could grab hold of, i really wanted to just slap myself and ask myself why i couldn't be like them. All i did during breaks in school was eat,stone,go toilet,eat,stone,go toilet, and go to class.Really that was it. So many thanks that this awesome best friend of mine is just like me (most of the time i dont think her laziness goes to the extremes of mine). izroz love you!

foresee many good days ahead, even if i get bored to tears at home i dont care. im willing to cry tears of boredom then to touch any sheet of fibre again.

2 weeks to B's liberation date too. i shall wait patiently!

2011-11-05T17:35:00.001+08:00

im being abnormal today. from the moment i woke up till now which is 5pm, i haven felt a single hunger pang at all.

im thinking i should just fast today haha.

2011-11-03T12:34:00.002+08:00

i might as stay in the toilet the entire day today. i feel that i might shit my large intestines out too HAHA information overload. what is wrong with me.

18 more days to fresh air. makes me excited whenever i think of it haha.

2011-10-29T13:45:00.002+08:00

i have a bucket full of grouses.

i know my freedom is exactly 23 days away. its gonna be a damn long 23 day wait.

everyday i just feel like banging my head on the wall. i think i have ~~low~~ no resilience at all this routined life i force myself to adhere everyday makes me sick.

meh.

Nightmares

2011-10-25T12:05:00.003+08:00

The night before,

i dreamt i made Ben angry for idk what reason. I was running away from him to make up for my mistake and it was raining like some typhoon storm ( drama right.) then i ran and ran and ran until i got really lost ( that empty feeling in your stomach when you get lost and have absolutely no idea how to get back) and i just squatted in the rain and cried. HAHAHAHAHA must be result of watching too much drama.

Last night,

i dreamt it was A levels GP paper. The teacher told us to bring it home to finish it ( yeah right if this happened in real life it would be a miracle not a nightmare anymore.) But for some reason when i stepped out of school it was pitch black and it was close to midnight already. And i was lost again ( -.- should really stop being such a direction idiot in my dreams) and i started panicking because im supposed to be asleep at 10 (HAHA) and its already midnight and i havent started on the essay and i panicked and i started running again through weird looking places trying to get home to start on the essay before morning came and i would fail because i didnt finish my essay.

my eyes flew open when i awoke, literally. that's the level of shock i got.

what is this man. anxiety attacks because As are in 15 days? Im pretty relaxed in the day though. Is there paranormal activity going on in my bedroom at night hahahaha.

2011-10-16T22:10:00.002+08:00

to my best friend :

i just broke out into a guffaw after reading your WP. every single bit is right smack on the nail and you know despite every single tough day we have to bear and every single piece of shit life throws the both of us ( loads of stuff that people will NEVER understand.), im glad i have you too (: i've got your back like you've mine babe!

tonight, i is feeling a little sad but neverthemind, happiness awaits me in 30 odd days and i must tell myself it is flying to me really soon.

mock exams tmr, im gna do it with a mocking attitude because really, enough is enough. i dont work well under so many examinations in short time spans thanks.

2011-10-12T21:54:00.002+08:00

untimely eye infection ):

this year seems to be a ill year, literally. i've fallen ill countless of times

speaking of which, Iz and i had a really funny revelation this morning about our uncanny paranoia

when i was little,

when i had backache i thought i had kidney failure

when i kept having to go to the bathroom, i thought i had diabetes

when i couldnt see clearly anymore, i thought i was going blind (i actually just needed specs.)

when i combed my hair and saw 5 strands of hair, i thought i was going bald

when my heart hurt really bad like someone was stabbing it, i thought i was gna stop breathing and die (actually this still is true today, but apparently i think i wont die from it.HAHA prob just signs of impending heart failure in future )

when my head hurt really badly earlier this year, i thought i had a brain tumour

when my boobs hurt for a few consecutive days, i thought i had breast cancer ( i had no idea it was a sign of impending period! )

and now, because my eye is swollen, i thought i would need to have major surgery to remove it and end up scarring my eyes ( which i treasure alot because i personally think they're the only nice part of my face HAHAHA.)

ok after such a ridiculous confession on my part, im sure everyone else has had a paranoid moment or two in their lives but probably not as many as me. i need to cut down on worrying.

sometimes i know i appear as if i wont falter no matter what happens, but you know things go beyond surfaces, im just a pro at concealing my fears.

2011-10-10T22:32:00.002+08:00

coping well with life nowadays, or maybe its just a matter of getting used it.

sometimes i feel like a crazy girl, feeling upset with the entire world for no reason hahaha.

like how the gp lecturer's gay voice and behaviour annoyed me this morning, how my lit teacher's incessant use of the word "ALRIGHT?" AFTER EVERY-SINGLE-SENTENCE nearly killed me, how the games that secondary school children play in the train made me wonder why they havent grown up, how my tummy ached from gastric at sporadic moments of the day, how my sleeping pattern is no longer 10pm-6am but 12am-540am (this upsets me the most HAHAHA.)

haha okay sorry im just being an angsty bitch today.

I AM GRADUATING IN 3 DAYS TIME, WHETHER OR NOT I PASS A LEVELS IN 29 DAYS.

congratulate me, now.

2011-10-01T15:01:00.003+08:00

when i have too many things to do, i complain

when i have nothing to do, i also complain.

probably not a good sign or thing to say when As are in 37 days. Honestly i got a shock when i looked up at the banner yesterday with best. really? i thought i had 50+++ more days HAHAHA reality check.

by the way i suspect im having internal hemorrhage rather than my period now. is there even this possibility that it wont stop? HAHA.

2011-09-30T18:17:00.001+08:00

who would know?

2011-09-25T10:56:00.003+08:00

ITS YOUR TIME.

first Leband concert that i attended as audience, felt really different but i enjoyed myself nonetheless (: Always looked forward to after-concert supper with all of them.

appreciate all the effort put in in holding a concert for all of us guys <3

post prelims life have been good so far. reality is in 3 days time though and then its back to work.

2011-09-22T11:13:00.002+08:00

PRELIMS DOWN YO.

one week breather while the rest still fight the battle.

sushi buffet + crazy stupid love last night thumbs up!

freezing weather plus skipping breakfast seems like a bad idea.

2011-09-20T22:27:00.001+08:00

sucks to be a girl sometimes really.

the pain haunts you everywhere. gaah. i should invent period inducing products to get the pain done and over with.

2011-09-16T15:47:00.004+08:00

so glad im leaving the sickening and horrid place in less than 2 months, oleh. Jie and i were talking last night about how we end up in schools that suck the life out of us and we just count down to the day we graduate right from day 1 of orientation.

some chocolate macadamia icecream now to calm the soul.

2011-09-02T23:07:00.002+08:00

I HAS 1 WEEK TO CONQUER EVERYTHINGS IN TIME FOR PRELIMS. THIS IS BAD AND THIS IS MAD. glad to know everyone's in the same boat though! comforting HAHA.

i look forward so much to the end of all this, so much so that i've been counting down the number of days to 21st november. No you did not read wrongly, i have NOT been counting down the number of days to the START of A levels, i have been counting down the days to the END of A levels.

As of today : 80 more days to fresh air, good skin, taut skin round the eyes, lepaking around anywhere, advanced burning of notes in advance of Mid Autumns Festival 2012.

Of which, i have a good mind to go down to Takashimaya to grab my snowskin green tea mooncakes with mum this weekend ( judge me for doing that though prelims are next week for all i care, mooncakes win everything.)

On a side note, B came over today to study! but the almighty sarahchew pillow proved too powderful for him and cast him into a deep 1-hour sleep HAHA goodjob pig! seeing him much less nowadays but good things come to people who wait! i like to first bitter then sweet.

I always think im a lucky girl, to have a supporting family who applauds my results for good times or bad, a hilarious best friend who turns school into a comedy and stress into HTHT talks, and an awesome supporting BF who's always adding oil for me and waiting for me at the end.

sentimental and mushy much, i know.HAHA once a year affair only k.

goodnight souls!

2011-08-27T22:05:00.002+08:00

HELLO SARCHAIC. feels like i haven't been updating about my life for a long long time! you know why? because there isnt much of a life. haha who am i kidding. im probably the most happening A-level kid around.butbutbut im not guilty because im a good kid who plays hard and studies hard. i should cut the crap

XLB fanclub's first meeting at DTF 2 weeks ago :D love all these wonderful people who eat like raving lunatics ( 6 baskets of xlb mind you) and still lovin'it. never been able to feel as comfortable around another group of people besides them, they remain the best company of comrades in my life.

at the start of the month, i went to catch my first fireworks during national day with B! (: Despite the squeezing, perspiration, excess foreign languages all round me, the fireworks were beeyouteefull!

pretty up sums up my august.

i thank everyone for everyday of my life.

for the company, for the laughter, for bringing light to my gloomy year, and for bringing love

prelims approaching really really soon. i need to keep calm and keep the faith, because we've all got it in us i just got to find it within me and put it to good use.

goodnight, and goodbye for awhile now i guess (:

2011-08-14T00:12:00.001+08:00

i cant wait for 14th october to come! so sick of school. Izyan Rozana, your "life sucks" pet phrase is growing on me HAHA.

so tough to hang on!

2011-08-11T21:49:00.000+08:00

overwhelming

2011-08-10T16:14:00.002+08:00

Caught fireworks live with B yesterday! Made up our minds not to do it again next year HAHA.seriously the crowd? and half of them arent even local... but that's not the point. the point is the stale air that nearly made us pass out, and the the 100% probability of your clean smelling arm getting smeared by someone else's perspiration T.T

nevertheless the amazing breathtaking moment when the works exploded right in your face up in the air, made the wait worthwhile, for awhile until the crowd begins shoving you again HAHA. no regrets though!

to survive in the Art's industry, you gotta be thick skinned enough to haggle notes out of your friends who have better notes, without fearing the judgment and scrutiny of their faces. Then you've got to have the guts to face the ugly fact of exposing those who arent who they seem, all because maybe their stuff means more to them than you and your friendship.

that's the reason im dying. Because i dont want to get judged, dont want to feel awkward and most importantly, i dont want to expose the ugly side of nature. I want everything to remain as they are. at the expense of not getting better resources in hope of better grades? yes.

Dear handmade-sarahchew notes, i guess its me and you then, all the way to the end of our battle (: im contented with you, its enough for me.

then again, it really makes me feel that the world is warm when i have classmates who volunteerily offer their notes to you with a big smile, asking if it would help (: these kind of people, stays with me forever.

2011-08-05T16:52:00.002+08:00

exactly a week ago, we brought my waipo out for a walk.

you know how when you look back at pictures you've taken, they just evoke this sense of allusion within you and garner up a whole new mixture of feelings you've never felt before? The picture above did that to me.

I just realised how much she's aged. Im not particularly close to her considering the fact i dont see her much, since young and even till now. Only on occasional rare weekends, i follow my mum to visit her at my uncle's place. Language didnt really prove to be a barrier since me being me even though i cant speak dialect i weave up ridiculous words just to put my point across to her.

She probably slogged 3/4 of her lifetime dedicating it to her 6 children. But it must have been terribly lonely for her to spend everyday without anyone accompanying her. She doesnt own a handphone, nor does she have an active lifestyle. Staying with my uncle doesnt help since both my uncle and aunt work and my cousins arent around most of the time so the only thing she does to kill time is to watch some television or ring up my mum sometimes to ask about everyone.

I felt truly happy bringing her out for a shopping trip at vivocity, bringing her to look at the newly built Resorts World Sentosa, telling her how the monorails link Sentosa to Singapore, bringing her on the Singapore Flyer, and soaking in the NDP preview spirit. I mean to us all these events seem trivial and part of our everyday lives but at her age, my grandma hasnt even been to all these places before.I cant believe how busy everyone is with their own lives that they cant even afford a single day to bring her out for a breather. Im guilty of that as well. I have other heartfelt grouses about how people have been neglecting her,which i should probably keep to myself. The point is, no matter how lonely she's been or how much she wishes to have company, she never voices it out and she always keeps everyone's interests in her heart. I think i have alot to learn from her.

You know how a picture speaks a thousand words.

2011-07-28T20:42:00.002+08:00

HAHA.

i have a weird habit.

i cant resist standing at my gate for 5 minutes everyday after i come back from school, just to play with my neighbour's 2-year old son who runs to the gate and stands there, staring at me with his big innocent eyes. makes me melt, and go over to play with him. His laughter is so adorable it makes me wna laugh too (: haha that cute boy seeks laughter and finds delight when i play peekaboo with him behind the pillar that separates our doors. aww love you Ryan you're so cute. Your smile and laughter makes me smile after a hard day's work at school. ( i sound like his mother here HAHAHA.)

Laughter is the best medicine for the soul. Especially in tough times like now, we have to "bite the bullet" and hang on,quoted from our hilarious principal.

i just spent a good 40 minutes unwinding by surfing the net. i need to get back to reality now before i lose the momentum haha.

cant wait for school to end tomorrow!

2011-07-24T21:50:00.001+08:00

Eventful past week!

feeling like my life is back on track.

prepared to give it my all now.

3 months and i'll be free!

2011-07-18T20:14:00.002+08:00

stress hormones raging at all time high. got to dismiss and ignore my brain's cries and pleas to sleep at my favourite bedtime of 10pm from now on and train myself to be awake at least till 12m. wish me luck havent slept past 11pm on school days before in my 12 years of education hahaha.

no one ever commends you for what you did well do they?
they jump straight into nit-picking what you did absolutely wrongly despite your tenacity and success in excelling in another area, despite your mistake and your right answer being 1 page apart.

brings me down, sadly. i am a piscean and i am a sensitive fish.HAHA.nevermind what doesn't bring you down makes you stronger.i hope i do become stronger.

time to start work now.

happy 18th B (:

2011-07-17T12:32:00.004+08:00

i am behaving like A's is in 1300 days, and that i shouldnt worry so much because its not here yet

this is wrong and this is bad

really hate how everyone's lives are revolving around As though, i mean i know it should be around my life too but i just dont wna accept it.

really hate how every teacher spends 15 mins telling you " As,is in 130 days."

the next lesson: "As, is in 130 days"

the next next lesson : "As is in 3.5 months time"

the next next next lesson: "AS IS COMING LA"

i know my math is cui, but really we can count HAHA.

i am an angsty teenager who is upset with life for having to do A levels.

on a side note, -i cant put what i wna say on a side note into words so i'll leave it as a side note-.

2011-07-13T20:18:00.002+08:00

for the past few days, i have been living life like a loser.HAHA nah i just have the flu and its not good. horrible toad voice and 95% blocked nose which decides to erupt and leak like a tap anywhere anytime.

i, can be a doctor! my own concoction of medicine from the fridge from god knows which year is working HAHAHA

got back some results today, some good some bad i don't know what to say too

someone said happy girls are the prettiest, so no matter what happens im gna try to stay happy! (whether you're judging if im pretty or not haha i will still stay happy)

happy girl gonna eat cherries and prepare for long day at school tmr now.

2011-07-09T14:54:00.004+08:00

headed down to the helix bridge to catch the beautiful night life of Singapore. Honestly, Singapore looks really pretty at night, haha albeit us not having any mountains or hills or natural landscapes,i think our skyscrapers don't lose out either. Amazing how in a mere short span of 3 years, so many new architectures spring up out of no where and look extremely glamorous

from the above picture, we can make a few inferences :

my face has transformed from a square, to a circle
my cheeks are extremely cheeky-looking (literally)
i have this blissful feeling whenever i take pictures with food
i never used to look this chubby 3-4 years back

thus, we can conclude that

B feeds me really really well with lots of good food
we eat 99.99% of the time we go out, i like.HAHA
i feel happy when i eat with B!

haha life after MYES are thumbsup. im left with 2 days before reality hits me in my face again

but thankyou B for a great night! (:

2011-07-08T10:22:00.002+08:00

Swensen's Ice-Cream Buffet with bestfriend.we didnt really wipe out the entire ice-cream cabinet but we did try 8 different flavours and the ambience was good. she's my best HTHT partner 8 years & counting. The amount of crap and nonsense we discuss & debate, and the ridiculous actions we do are nothing within your range of imagination hahaha

a shocking revelation :

i was unwittingly a vegetarian for the entire of yesterday.

breakfast was bread,

lunch was instant noodles,

tea was ICECREAM ICECREAM ICECREAM ICECREAM, WAFFLES WITH ICECREAM

dinner was a bowl of instant campbell soup

supper was a packet of seaweed

hahaha no wonder i've been feeling queasy all day and my stomach's a wreck. I NEED MEAT.

B's back from camp!

2011-07-07T11:10:00.002+08:00

so, MYES have come to an end, and i supposedly will not look like the above picture at least for the next 2 months till prelims. my sister is a good photographer, she makes me look like im studying reallllly hard HAHA. for this exam, i've written 17 essays and i have only one thing to say : I am strong, I am invincible, I am Woman HAHAHAHA kidding yo.not that im complaining, i gladly do so compared to any science paper any time (: goodjob everyone.
sadly when its time to celebrate, my piercing wreaks havoc and gives me a swollen and inflamed earlobe.Quoting my mum, 爱美不要命.

yes i will persevere and still wear my earrings even my lobes rot and fall off haha wish me luck

for now, its time to hit town and have a celebration, for good or for bad (results), we have no regrets.

haha ice-cream buffet here we come!

2011-07-04T20:38:00.002+08:00

do you know how hard it is to make yourself study when you have 4 days worth of break and just 1 day of exam left

haha explains why i spent the entire day trying to do some work but most of the time eating anyway, we bought an entire plastic bag worth of junk food at NTUC yesterday!

i feel happy when i shop in NTUC.

actually i cant believe im only left with 4 months to do this, because i cant do it HAHA. no sarah chew you better do it.

urhhhh i expect this space to be filled with some happy pictures soon!

2011-07-02T11:25:00.002+08:00

the pain and joy of taking the arts.

the joy comes when you know no matter what they throw in your face you're capable of coming up with stuff to write regardless of whether you studied for it or not. and at the end of the paper, you feel like you own the world. (unlike how i felt in sec3 and 4 after my science papers -.- )

the pain...the only pain you feel are your broken wrists from spamming so many essays.HAHA.im serious about this.

finally down to the last 2 papers and then its temporary freedom till prelims which is ):

and im such a blockhead. i actually held my pee for 3 hours for every paper because i thought they wouldnt allow me to go pee in case they think i hid my notes in the toilet! i will get bladder deficiency by age 40 wish me luck.

and hooray for B's disruption till 5 years later! (:

2011-06-23T14:07:00.002+08:00

conversation between doctor and me yesterday :

"dont get so stressed up! its just school exams.what only matters is the one at the end right!"

"HAHA.of course you say that.you're a doctor already!"

he gives a hearty laugh.

after his diagnosis yesterday, i decided to take things ~~easy~~easier (im already taking things really easy already! ) and slow down for the benefit of the many years ahead of me. i shouldn't be trying to kill myself at the age of 18. which explains why today i decided to get up at only 10pm.(can you imagine myself scolding myself to lie back down at 9am when im already actually up and awake ) and mope around the house till 11pm before studying ABIT and then stopping for lunch and snooping around facebook.

i've got to realise theres only so much i can do.

YOU've got to realise you're the only one who can erase all these negativities from your life and be a happy person, if someone doesnt like you, deal with it.why are you angry with your own life and yourself and every other person? if someone doesnt like me seriously, i'll just shake his/her hand and say 'same to you'. Do something for yourself, create your own life and joy because you know you've got so much to explore and gain from this world.

ITS FRIDAY,FRIDAY,GONNA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY.TMR :D

2011-06-22T17:35:00.001+08:00

urgh why do such things keep happening to me!

whats next really.

2011-06-21T16:12:00.002+08:00

as usual, browsing through the web and stalking people's tumblr always helps me come to an important decision.

i decided to keep my extremely long locks.

despite my mum getting really irked over the length of it and the amount of heat getting trapped in it every second of my life and the amount of shampoo and conditioner i have to spam, im keeping it because i know i'll hate myself if i decide to get rid of it.

(this sounds like some desperate young mum trying to convince herself shes keeping her baby even though she shouldnt for some reason )

ITS THE LAST WEEK OF THE HOLIDAYS.spending friday night at Bandersonics, which come to think of it, i haven't participated in the event at all since 2 years ago haha joke.maybe 2 years later i might get to!

1st july, the blessing (:

2011-06-19T12:49:00.004+08:00

the past two days of my holidays were finally spent out of home and away from notes.

friday was spent accompanying the dearest K2 kiddos to the zoo! (: holding their hands and strolling along to catch sight of all the animals made me feel like im one of them HAHA. the feeling when they look up at you and give you a wide innocent genuine smile when you explain to them wad kind of animal they were looking at is... unexplainable. most of the time when you talk to people your age now, most of them return you a patronizing smile HAH.i should quit being cynical.

touched my heart when we entered the childcare centre and all the children jump up and down, scream your name and start waving frantically to me even though i last visited them 8 months ago. they've grown more inquisitive and cheeky i can tell haha.

dam cute questions they posed to me :

jiejie, why are you so tall? i shall call you gao-shan jiejie ( high mountain sister)
jiejie, why are you so white?
jiejie, do you eat? you're so skinny you know
jiejie, who's your mummy?
jiejie, is the tiger real? it isnt moving
jiejie, why is your hair so long?
jiejie, why must the kangaroo's baby be called Joey, cnt be another name?

and the list goes on really. played in the water play zone with them for 3 hours straight and got all soaked to the skin and smart me brought no extra clothes HAHA. their energy level is 1000%. even after i surrendered and ran to hide under a slide they sought me out and splashed buckets of water all over me. They set up a "salon" in the middle of the pool and treated my hair to a chlorine bath where they tugged and pulled and "washed" my hair like it was a wig T.T

couldnt bear to say bye to them when the day came to an end. seeyou in october for your graduation concert children! (:

MET CRABZ FOR DIN TAI FENG XIAO LONG BAO DINNER AFTER ZOO WHEE.

initially ordered only 20 xlbs and two bowls of noodles but you know when crab meets pig we never say no to more.HAHAHA. so we ended the day with a saStiFying meal of 30 xlbs. epic dinner with lots of rubbish conversations, expressions when relishing the xlbs, getting weird stares from the next tables because we behaved like xlbs descended from the heavens. haha lubs you crabz, XLB FANCLUB FTW. next stop : chili crab zichar.

and to end off, my toddler cousins got hamsters for their birthdays.SO CUTE THE BALLS OF FUR HMMM *SQUEEZES*

ciao!

2011-06-14T12:58:00.002+08:00

good food these days make everyday seem brighter and happier :D

sushi and fish&co in two days! nomnomnom.

i think im getting used my everyday routine! and this is good news. Plus no more emotional wrecks because P is over! :D

haha im going to cook maggie mee now. the smell of maggie mee makes me excited.

this week seems like a good week.

cant wait to see the cuties and go to the zoo with them on friday (:

2011-06-12T21:52:00.002+08:00

ps : they hired and imported lion dancers in from china

pictures from the distant relative's wedding at RWS!

2011-06-12T16:40:00.004+08:00

on saturday, Mr Lui finally returned from the jungle! :D and rescued me out of the house hahaha

original plan was to picnic ( our favourite pasttime = eating.we love food! ) but spoiler rain! so we caught X-men first.

i admit its my first time watching an X-men show in my entire life HAHA. didnt know all the effects were so cool!

good thing it stopped raining after the movie so we headed to the beach and it was already 4pm so we gave up on the picnic idea but...

we decided to stop by to get butter cookies anw :D haha! i know i eat an average of 3 per day already so no harm then!

much needed break from the mundane holidays. 16 more days till school reopens!

and after much consideration and thinking and discussion , i decided to put off my braces plan till after A levels since i have 8 months and probably only need a few months to pull together the gap in my teeth since my teeth are already straight. Plus i can go out to work and earn $ to pay off the braces installment myself (: AHLIN i read you're getting braces too, tell me if they're painful or not okay! if they are i'll totally scrap the whole braces idea HAH.

2011-06-10T18:12:00.002+08:00

been thwarting my exercise plans since day 1 every morning i wake up and say " today is the day i shall go for a run! " then at 4pm you see me at the dining table with my butter cookie tin.ok soon soon! why cant my fats burn away as quickly as i burn out from studying HAHA.

because midyears is coming = stress = my period is absent for 234542 years = extremely unbalanced hormones = weird emotions now and then = will randomly cry if i want to = i need alot of junkfood to balance myself = will grow fat soon. tsk vicious cycle!

i cant believe im finally going out to unwind tmr for the first time since the holidays started.its been a horribly long 2 week wait.

i is wanting to eat steamboat nomnomnom!

2011-06-07T14:28:00.002+08:00

my mum was wiping the doors of our house that day (dont ask me why, she loves housekeeping)

i was back-facing her doing my work and she was talking to my dad. suddenly i heard her say :

"高的孩子,来."

i instinctively turned around hahaha. out of her 三个孩子 im the 最高 i assumed.

and i was right

she just wanted me to help her wipe off the dirt at the top of our doors.HAHA my mum is hilarious, she churns out new names for all of us from time to time. havent really heard my real name for a long time, only at times whens she angry she goes "周玉玲!!!" this isnt the real 玲 btw i cant figure how to write the real thing.

i've been eating nonstop everyday since the holidays started, im starting to feel like im expanding. need to exercise soon!

2011-06-04T15:41:00.003+08:00

happens to all of us! even if it only lasts for 10 seconds before you snap out of it and realise you're anti-plastic surgery so there's no chance of it happening haha!

havent been home on a saturday for really long! usually im out at band or out with Ben ( no pun intended ) Mr Lui come home from dee jungle soonzxs!

some distant (really really distant to the point i have no idea what he looks like or what his name is HAHA) relative's wedding dinner at RWS tmr which means im finally stepping out of the house this week.

why, does my holiday sound so pathetic.

2011-06-03T15:09:00.002+08:00

i need to chill.

i hate being such a light-sleeper really. like how the moment a distant light is switched on and i immediately wake up, or when a bird happens to land on my window pane, or when my grandma starts cooking really early in the morning. THIS, explains why i go to bed at 10pm everyday HAHA because all in all i think i only get <6 hours of sleep every night even though i wake up at 9.

week 1 of my holidays have come and gone just like that, i cant believe im not participating in the GSS. i cant believe im not even planning a decent holiday outing to somewhere.

my life now = no life. HAHA

i just self-destructed my own fringe, yet again. please grow back in 1 weeks time.

2011-05-31T15:44:00.002+08:00

much as i always tease those who turn to fortune-tellers, i find myself wanting to seek reassurance from a clairvoyant myself at this point of time in my life. just to make sure i'll be fine in future, that my life wont be a ruck, that i'll have food on my table every single day of my life, and a simple roof over my head (maybe a brick one, i dont want an attap one.)

i find myself seeking solace in bak zhangs everyday now when i study HAHAHA monday is apparently the bak zhang day so i have unlimited supply of them at home now.

cant wait for june holidays next year HAHA. last june holiday we'll all spend studying this year so i'll live with it.

2011-05-27T19:35:00.002+08:00

HOLIDAYS!

its been two tiring and long terms, its time to hit the ~~bed~~ books HAHA. yay to the last two terms in nanyang and im gna be out of there, for good.

such a strong word to use : hate

2011-05-26T11:25:00.002+08:00

been hating the holidays ever since sec3.

hate the feeling of waking up really early and trying to get yourself back to sleep but you just cant because somewhere at the back of your mind you know you should be doing something else than sleeping.

hate the feeling where you have breakfast alone at the dining table at a really early hour, where nobody is awake yet because, its the holidays.

hate the feeling when you're done washing up and all, and your day is about to begin and you dig up all the stuff you think you wna revise today

hate the feeling when you start studying maybe say at 10 and although you feel like you've been at it for 10 hours, only 10 minutes have passed.

hate the feeling when you wna take a break, but no one is around you to talk to you and the house is practically empty because its the holidays and your siblings are out having fun already

hate the feeling where you go to bed feeling half-dead,unaccomplished and knowing the next day,its gonna happen ALL OVER AGAIN.

hate the feeling when this repeats itself for 30 days straight.

bottom line : i hate it when they put exams right after your holidays so theres no chance of you actually having/enjoying one.

bottom bottom line : i cant believe i chose schools that do this to me for 4 consecutive years hahaha

bottom bottom line : im just a really angsty NYJC-ian and i have GP paper tmr and after GP paper i have math and hist supp lessons which explains why i have evolved into a typical Singaporean who's best apt at complaining.

2011-05-22T09:42:00.002+08:00

reasons why i cannot plan surprises :

i always laugh to myself when i think about the surprise infront of the person i want to surprise

whenever they ask me "so whats the surprise?" i actually answer them forgetting that its meant to be a surprise

im dumb enough to sometimes accidentally say out the surprise HAHAHA

my stress level doubles when im in the midst of the surprise so the surprise turns out to be such a ganchiong surprise

i need 48 hours to plan/execute a mere 3 mins surprise

BUT i guess Mr Lui's surprise ytd was OKAY. HAHA i need to thank my pro brownie shifu mr shahril teddy. i know i made you throw up blood when

i didnt know what on earth to do with the mixer, how to switch it on

i couldnt crack eggs without spilling some everywhere

i had no idea what all-purpose flour was

i couldnt open the vanilla essense bottle

the cardboard base for the brownie was too large and we had to saw it off

no one in singapore wants to sell whipping cream so we had to travel half of yishun to find it

haha yes thankyou ted! :D i'll sponsor you to write a brownie recipe book if i make it big one day HAHA

but yay okay i hope Mr Lui had a great belated birthday celebration (:

2011-05-19T20:49:00.003+08:00

decided to bum around the house and not do anything today. the exhaustion from school can kill haha actually more like the exhaustion from getting to school and back, already takes up 2 hours ++ of my life so by the time i get to school, im already half-dead, and if you didnt already know, nanyang has this very cool steep slope you have to conquer before reaching the actual school gate.

i know, my school rocks. I HAVE 6 MORE MONTHS THR YAY (:

been seeing so many pictures of gorgeous girls with gorgeous hair on tumblr nowadays, that when i walk to my own mirror and catch the image of my own hair, i only have one word to say to my reflection :

cui.

HAHAHA. okay i talked to my hair awhile ago, and i promised it i would do something nice about it after A levels. cheer up hair! you still look presentable!

tomorrow is friday, friday, friday! i hope saturday turns out the way i planned it to be!

2011-05-18T15:53:00.002+08:00

i realised, Singapore is actually full of really skilful acrobats.

like those at circle line every morning, im truly amazed at how they tumble and cartwheel right into the train before the doors close in behind them 0.001 seconds later. they deserve applaudment haha

we should set up a circus! and earn more money dont you think. we dont even need lions/elephants/monkeys, we just need fake train doors.

i have severe mood fluctuations these 2 days. must be the Wood's cough syrup's fault.i had 3 bottles already and im not getting better.
meh.

2011-05-15T16:06:00.001+08:00

hiphiphoooraaay!

2011-05-11T18:29:00.000+08:00

2011-05-10T19:58:00.002+08:00

embarrassing incident of today , 10th may 2011.

my skirt got caught in some guy's workbag zip and it wouldnt come out no matter how hard i tried to tug at it before the guy realised what was going on.

can you imagine, 20 more seconds before the train pulls up at Bishan station, where once the doors opened a swarm of ~~flies~~ SINGAPOREANS, would barge right into your face and you would be stuck to that guy's bag, FOREVER

k why so drama mama HAHA i gave up and tapped the guy and pointed to my skirt, he went OMG.so i shouted back OMG too ( was trying to push the embarrassment attention we gained onto him so people would stare at him and think its his fault)

10 seconds left.

He being kinda tall, (taller than me even though im alrd tall! ) out of pure desperation, decided to just lift my shirt to his hand level so he could pull it out.wth ikr thank goodness i always wear safety pants haha ( this post is utterly shaming me and robbing me of my reputation)

at the moment the train pulled up at Bishan and i saw those scary people out there with pressed faces against the door, my skirt regained its freedom. Thank God. we both apologized to each other with a laughter you would probably have heard before when you friend tells you an un-funny joke and you both laugh. I bolted right out of the train at a speed that even usain bolt would have marvelled at.

2nd insane face-losing incident after last month's "walk into wrong LT for econs" incident.

2011-05-09T10:57:00.001+08:00

my.mama.found.a.lizard.peeking.out.of.my.wardrobe.wth.

i refuse to shower now because if i want to, i have to get clothes from my wardrobe.which i will not do unless someone confirms with me that thing decided to leave my wardrobe thanks.

TSK LIZARD WHY YOU LIDDAT ): WHY MY CUPBOARD GO NEXT DOOR TO MY SISTER'S ONE LEH.HAHA

i need to hire a lizard-catcher.

2011-05-08T14:42:00.002+08:00

caught a good movie yesterday! (: the elephant's so adorable, if only we were allowed to own elephants as pets haha i think i'll get one!

much needed relaxing day yesterday to regain my sanity. thankyou mr lui!

"put your pocket in my extra wallet" :D

2011-05-05T21:19:00.002+08:00

im getting sick and tired of the human race.

better off living with dogs,cats,pigs,horses,aiya any animal will do.

they dont shove you off escalators, dont push you in and squash your face on the train doors so they can get in, dont despise you because you wear a school uniform, dont cut your queue just because their bellies/tummies are larger than yours.

the list goes on.

im so glad its finally friday.

2011-05-01T21:17:00.002+08:00

i went to visit Mr Lui at OCS today morning! :D

haha its a pretty place to me (although i know all the officers there are really sian of waking up to the same scenery every morning ) such an eye-opener to what the guys train to do in there, quite inspiring and coolio to see the video on how they operate war ships and fighter jets and stuff.

but no i dont think im as brave as those female officers in there who sign on. haha kudos to them really!

jiayou Mr Lui 5 more days to go only! (: seeyou on saturday to celebrate your book out!

happy labour day everyone!

2011-04-29T16:14:00.002+08:00

Initially, i thought maybe Singtel was facing some technical issues, which explains why i cant receive messages from a few people

Then after a few days, i called customer service hotline and they said they would do something

no they didnt

So after a fewfew more days i gave up and went to JUNCTION8 singtel outlet to ask for help.

i conclude, not only is Singtel's line terribly bad, its workers suck too.

the lady gave me the "What you want la" face without speaking to me, told her my problem and told her the customer service didnt help and she stuck her hand out which i inferred that she wants my phone

i gave it to her, she takes out her own iphone and sends a message to my phone.

my phone received her message and she says " DEH,CAN WAD.CAN RECEIVE MY MSG WAD.NTH WRONG."

i had this perpetual -.- + -_- + *i want to take the iphone and throw in your face now* look the entire time HAHAHA

i was still patient at this point of time, so i explained, yes I CAN RECEIVE msges, just that they either come halfway, dont come at all or they come but like a few weeks later.

she still gives me the reply "DEH CAN WAD.CAN RECEIVE MY MSG.NTH WRONG I 'CECK' 'ALEYLY'

TSKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK. im actually a very short tempered person by nature if you know me. IN THE END,she asked me to call customer service again.

if.it.worked.why.do.you.think.i.came.personally.to.seek.help.

i normally dont have urges to slap people but today i really wanted to.

actually i only came to put up a notice to people who need to contact me, to give me a call instead, because SINGTEL, cannot solve my problem (:

if Singtel wants to sue me for berating its services online, go ahead. then i'll sue that female staff of theirs for bad english and bad service and bad facial expressions and bad attitude.

gek-sim.

2011-04-28T20:32:00.002+08:00

things i always wanted to do ( and will keep trying ) :

dye my hair orangey red (HAHAHA this sounds mad.)
go for a nice picnic
get contact lens and stop being half blind and squinting/banging into stuff
attempt to swim one day in case bigbig tsunami hits Singapore too
get tanned (HAHAHA this, sounds impossible)
learn what all the different make up stuff are for and prolly use them someday
get my bottom row of teeth re-aligned! (anyone wna donate 4 teeth to me? :D)
eat pigs trotter with fats unremoved (currently i throw them to me dad)
LEARN TO COOK! :D FOR REAL.
pick up the violin
IPL aka permanent hair removal HAHAHA
be 50% less sarcastic and 50% nicer as a person (Laura, i'll try.really HAH)

okay the list is full of crap and as you know there's no limit to listing out crap.

for now the one and only thing to do, and must do is :

pass the A levels and get decent grades and get out of NYJC and find greener pastures elsewhere preferably in a place called, the university.

good thinking yeah?

today is a relaxing day. because tmr is friday and its the royal wedding HAHA.

2011-04-24T14:08:00.002+08:00

when we were young, my parents used to bring us to this place called "Beauty World" because it was in close proximity to Bukit Timah eating centre where all our favourite food were ( and we would practically buy EVERYTHING we felt like eating till people stared and wondered if we had been starved for days hahaha)

Beauty World wasnt your conventional shopping mall. It comprised of really retro stalls like tailor shops where those old uncles tailored suits for your ahgongs in the past, jewllery shops that sold only GOLD, those TCM medical halls selling your Ginsengs and cordyceps and what not, those book rental stalls that you could rent books from (which i never returned after all because i liked the book so much oops), and lots of stalls selling clothes only your ahmas would wear

But somehow it brings back lots of memories when i walked through it again yesterday. The place's my mum's favourite hunt for towels of all sizes and various purposes. We (sisters,i and mum) used to walk into this HUGE departmental store selling clothes for all ages and pick out outfits for ourselves ( outfits that seem ridiculous now but at that time..you get what i mean haha)

there was my favourite stationery shop too that hasnt changed a single bit. Used to like to just walk right in and marvel at all the highlighters but didnt dare to get my mum to buy them for me because what on earth could a kid studying ABCs do with highlighters.

so yesterday Laura and I happily went on a shopping spree of stickers and pretty craft paper from this art shop. You know we spent less than 20 bucks combined but we were so child-like and we got satisfied easily with our cheap bargains. C'mon where to find high quality cute stickers at $2.90 each haha

the nostalgia saved me from becoming a social recluse that day.
we should all revisit places that we have subtle recollections of just to retain that bit of joy we have left in us.

2011-04-21T19:58:00.003+08:00

Everyone's just being too hard on themselves.

oh look! its thursday thursday! and tmr's (good) friday, friday! :D
time to sleep in, sleep in.

k need to get rebecca black out of my head.

me sister is turning 20 in exactly 4 hours! HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER IM WISHING YOU HERE BECAUSE I BET I WONT SEE YOU TODAY NOR TMR, YOU'RE GNA BE OUT PARTYING TILL MIDNIGHT AND COMING HOME AT ___am SO CONGRATS ON ENTERING THE "2" AGES HAHAHA

2011-04-19T16:36:00.002+08:00

yesterday, me and iz walked into LT4 thinking there was econs lecture. no idea why we BOTH thought it was lecture okay haha.

went in and didnt see our usual lecturer, walked further down the stairs and wondered why it was suddenly full house ( usually only half the LT would be filled), walked further down and i saw no familiar faces, WALKED EVEN FURTHER DOWN I MIGHT AS WELL SIT DOWN ALREADY and heard the words " carboxylic acid."..

and went OMG. im in the wrong LT.HAHAHAHAHA we ran faster than 2.4 i tell you -.- bet the whole chem cohort knows the girl with a red bag and girl with purple bag now.

moral of the story : differentiate between the words " ECONS LECTURE" and "ECONS TUTORIAL".

this is gna serve as some memorabilia in future.

19 more days to go!

2011-04-17T20:58:00.002+08:00

past few days of life have been so good, i didnt want it to end. felt like the happy old cheery me for the past 3 days but now that monday's approaching i think im gna be that gloomy dead emo kid again ):

but its fine, i'll deal with it good.

hopefully the next 3 weeks pass quickly!

and i have a burning question to ask...

why do people refer to selfish people as selfish PIGS.HAHA k just wondering, are pigs actually selfish by nature thats why people use them as derogatory terminologies? i mean i thought they were too lazy to even be selfish HAHAHA.ok goodnight i think i need some sleep.

2011-04-14T17:37:00.002+08:00

i miss all these people! i miss last december.

im going back for andss speech day tmr to see my cute juniors and all the fun alumnus from leband!

im extremely amazed at how the body lotion one of my cousin's wife gave us to try makes my skin sparkle. yes literally its glittering HAHAHA and do you know that i've heard this countless times from different people : " are you secretly a...vampire. your lips are too red, your skin is too white, and your hands are chilly all the time."

i cant hide it anymore...maybe i really am one.

HAHA nonsense. the cream smells good though! :D

the freezing weather is getting to my brain. i want to eat prata tmr! (:

2011-04-11T21:02:00.003+08:00

i foresee an overwhelming and cramped week ahead.

unhappy and i dont know why, its not that i dont wna explain why. at this rate i think im gna get cancer soon from all the stress hormones pent up and unreleased HAHAHA,

okay goodnight.tonight, i cant sleep at 10pm so tmr, i'll be a cranky girl

2011-04-09T16:06:00.001+08:00

urghhhhh.im very disgruntled right now

2011-04-08T15:00:00.002+08:00

i got a :

for PW!

okay not the best, but not that bad either! whoever came up with such an examinable topic must be a nutcase haha spent an entire year learning absolutely nothing, feeling worn out every single day and spending everyday delusional and wanting to stick a big fat knife into the fellow who invented it.

k.it.is.over. IDGAGDFS HAHA IZYAN.R

you know, i've been feeling like such an absolute failure ever since i started JC. But i cant seem to do anything to change it HAH.

aiya. maybe if 21/12/2012 is true it isnt such a bad thing either. at least i wont live to see A level results in 2013. good idea dont you think

2011-04-06T17:15:00.002+08:00

i hate years when i have to take major exams.

i miss out on so many things that i wna be part of. knowing that its alright, its just a year, after that you get to do everything you want. But its different you know. The envy just lingers.

school's pretty fine. its the when-i-reach-home portion, when you know you should be studying but you sit there and dont know what exactly to be doing for that few hours. even sleeping earlier a little makes me guilty.

gaah.waoruwaorwaorncalkjxcaihwih <--- word to describe life right now HAHAHA

with age, we tend to become more jaded and disillusioned dont you think.

2011-04-05T17:17:00.002+08:00

happy international friendship day everybody! i dont know if its just me or what but nobody wished each other happy friendship day today ): maybe it isnt even friendship day today HAHAHA but i distinctively rmb catching sight of " 5th april, international friendship day" on school notice board ohwell whether it is or not i still see my best friend in school every single day so everyday feels like happy friendship day to me! HELLO IZYAN.R <3 now that my hair is (only abit) shorter i have this temptation to cut it (even shorter like till shoulder length) haha i sound perverse here. maybe its cause i've been stuck with long tresses for the past few years. on rainy days like these, when the cold wind strikes you in the face real hard, when you're facing the time of the month all you wna do is swim around in bed and cover yourself with your blanket.

2011-04-04T16:14:00.002+08:00

no idea why my blog looks a little pink. no i dont like pink.

oh monday's over yay.

2011-04-03T17:58:00.003+08:00

so thanks to the frustratingly hot weather that penetrates right through your skin, sets your skin ablaze and causes your sweat glands to work extra hard, i, decided, to, get, a, haircut. after saying that a gazillion times to many people till they got sick of it because i never really do actually cut it eventually HAHAHA. but i did this time and i kissed goodbye to 2 inches of my locks ): because everyone looks funny after a haircut so i look funny (: because i really do feel a little cooler! oh man its another 2 weeks wait!

2011-04-02T22:38:00.002+08:00

i would like to thank my dearest crabaz and teddy for coming at night on the 29th of march to give me a belated birthday surprise. They covered the eyehole of my door, left my dad clueless, crept into the room and sang me "Happy Birthday". Thank God i wasnt still in my cleopatra pose from watching tv because my ahma came in and told me my friends were here ( despite them telling her to keep it a secret haha). The awesome C-H-E-W cookies that looked so cute despite them being inedible and chaodah, and the really yummy tin of cookies they baked that were edible and *thumbsup!* wasnt the date that mattered but the heartfelt efforts they put in that im truly thankful for (: THAAAAANKYOOOOUUU CRABAZ LIU AND MUHD TEDDY MANY <3S TO BOTH OF YOU! meet up soon for dinner k!

on the 31st of March, and 2nd of April, were my Mum's and Dad's birthdays respectively. Since we were now all grown up (and so are they HAHA) didnt really know what to get them anymore and i know they dont like us to waste money on unnecessary stuff and all, so us chews decided to just get them a cake ( which was hideously decorated by yours truly ). We waited till at night for both of them to be inside their room, lit the cake outside their room, switched off their room lights ( and got shouted "OIIIII" at by both of em cause they were watching tv/filing documents HAHA ) and sang them happy birthday. ok so much for a surprise haha. wishing them good health, happiness and longevity in the coming years! (:

disappointing results this term but kinda expected as well with a mere one week break to chiong and stuff haha but thats definitely not an excuse so this term its go all out for it! 7 more months after all. i might be clueless at this point of time, but i think things will unfold nicely as they always do in the end (i hope).

Always envied those who are really either strong in the Sciences or the Arts. I mean if they really have a niche in either one, they work hard and they really score. For some reason i cant figure which side of the fence i belong to. I really suck at the sciences, so i thought maybe i would have a go at the arts. But then now that im in it, i find myself on a tightrope. Im better at it than at the sciences, but neither am i entirely good at it so now im in a ruck, neither here nor there and then i realise, i could possibly be a jack of both trades, but master of none and this really confuses me hahaha.

okay should go grab a kitkat, and have a break and let life figure out itself.

Chris Medina - What Are Words

2011-04-01T16:38:00.000+08:00

chanced upon this at 8888's. truly touched my heart, this guy is one of a kind and i salute him.

2011-03-29T10:40:00.001+08:00

first day of absence from school in term2. be right back tmr!

i agree,i think im the luckiest girl alive.

2011-03-27T19:30:00.000+08:00

after 4 days of good rest and lots of fun, its time to hit the books again ( nah haha not so soon. just need to get myself to school again ): ) okay yay school! term2!

2011-03-26T09:49:00.002+08:00

attempt number 1 to put on the pretty dangling earrings today HAHA cant believe i was mentally preparing myself yesterday after my bath by trying it on just to make sure i can wear it today.

that day, bestie and i went shopping to get each other our belated ( okay her present is wayyyyy belated gaah ) birthday presents and we realised we didnt want anything expensive or branded from each other, we were both desperately trying to pick out something cheap and whatever because its the thought that counts.

so in the end we got each other clothes! (: i got her a tee ( damn it i was trying real hard to get her a suitable dress) and she got me a dress. haha this, is what you called true friendship okay y'all.HAHA

i decided to wait till the price of that pretty bag we saw together fall/wait till i decide i have extra cash on hand to splurge on it/ just forget it and find a cheaper one elsewhere which i believe im fully capable of doing (: decided to save up the birthday angbao my mum gave me to spend it on family and friend's birthday gifts instead.

2011-03-25T14:51:00.000+08:00

is a celebration really worth celebrating, if no one means it? maybe thats why i rather not to be part of it. forgive me for my choice.

2011-03-24T10:38:00.000+08:00

anyone seen the commercial for the brand new show featuring Hossan Leong in this Aunty outfit at the supermarket exclaiming "why the carrots so small? why the corn only got one? why the cabbage so expensive? " ? HAHA and when someone asks " what's Singaporean's favourite pasttime?" and Aunty Leong shouts "COMPLAINING!!!" confidently.

sent me reeling in laughter really. such an apt answer. i totally agreed.

everyday on the train i meet really scary people. i think we're all forced under circumstances to be who we are on public transport. that day while taking the bus with my lil sis some aunty cut her queue nonchalantly ( what aunty you think you win because you're old and have more wrinkles than us? ) i mean my sis actually missed a bus to allow others to get on first you know and this aunty comes along and does this TSK. k me being the anal sister and typical short tempered woman went to glare at the aunty and produce the longest hiss of my life before topping it off with a big TSK in her face and pushing my sister up the bus before anyone else

HAHAHA just like any uncouth Singaporean, im one myself.

blah ANYWAY YOU KNOW, BLOCKTESTS ARE OVER. its kiss goodbye to good grades but i actually pranced out of the MPR yesterday at 5.22pm smiling :D

day out later with Best! (:

2011-03-22T14:27:00.000+08:00

I CANT WAIT FOR TMR 6PM. haha why am i sounding like this is A levels or something.Its only the first exam of the year and i still have midyears and prelims tskkkkkkk but meh been slogging for the past few weeks i wna return home plomp on the sofa watch tv eat loads of crap and feel wasted.

HAHA im going out to celebrate on the weekends no more sitting at the same table staring at prints and no one shall stop me.

k for now back to reality its 6 hours of papers tmr i need to make sure my wrist doesnt break off before the end of 6 hours.

gogogo!

heartfelt thanks

2011-03-20T17:23:00.000+08:00

thankyou papa and mama chew (my dad's face is awesome here HAHA)

thankyou all my chews!

thankyou my dearest girlfriend for taking time out to plan such an adorable surprise for me even though we all know block tests are like coming really soon and you gave up study time to do this for me and i bet a considerable amount of your brain cells died too while you figured how to do my card and figured how to get the macs guy to my house. thankyou bestie of 8 years! (:

and thankyou Mr Lui.LJ (HEHEHE we all know your army name rocks! ) for the extremely delicious birthday dinner which probably ripped off 1/4 of your army pay already and for the present which you still dont wna give me because i know you wna finish it up nicely.thankyou Mr Lui! stop shooting your friend's target in army! xD

my 18th birthday was kinda gloomy because i had to study for block test and all, but all these people made it such a special one i feel happier and i'll do my best for block test (:

im a blessed girl.

2011-03-16T09:30:00.001+08:00

wakeup.read papers bout japan and feel absolutely sad for them,eat breakfast, do work, sleep

ikr its day 3 im doing the same thing everyday hahaha worst march holidays ever i would have to say.

keep having this bout of rheumatism in my right shoulder blade.

oh and almost everynight, im having interrupted sleep. im beginning to suspect that my room is haunted HAHAHA k kidding. just weird how i sleep for like 5 mins,then wake up for 2 mins and sleep for another 5 mins and wake up for 2 mins then give up anyway and just get out of bed to do something else.

its just down down down down down.

2011-03-13T15:42:00.000+08:00

everyday's a repeat of the day before. cant wait for this week and next week to be over so i can resume that little bit of life i actually had! gonna have the worst birthday ever this year i think hahaha

i suddenly have this craving for bbq food HAHA okay bbq on my to-do-list at the end of this year!

2011-03-12T18:04:00.000+08:00

catch-up dinner with crabaz last night. Didnt matter that there was only 2 of us, enjoyed myself anyway (: haha somehow dinner with her always turn out hilarious no matter what and we have the ability to eat 15 gyozas between us after two big bowls of ajisen. woops guilty for eating so much.not HAHA love to eat with people who can eat as much as me/more than me makes me wna eat even more.

wonder why im struggling over so many things, when the japanese are struggling with the loss of their dear ones and struggling with how their lives have been drastically transformed overnight. i pray for them with all my heart to pull through this.

crabz told me bout the 2012 day thing, which all along i actually thought was the prophecy of some religous cult (HAHA i refuse to believe im gna die in 1 year ) but now that i know its something scientific... not that im afraid of death right now. i just have so many unfulfiled things on my list and i will resist death until i accomplish them.

this is such a tough period of my life really even though its only term1 i think term2,3,4 are gonna be living hell and im prolly going to end up either psychotic/schizophrenic/emotionally depressed and someone you want to avoid because i will snap at you for no particular reason HAHAHA getting short tempered and sensitive nowadays. hope its just hormones at work.

k bye block tests in one week its make it or break it i want to make it or i will break my own head by banging it on the wall.

hah no i wont. goodnight.

2011-03-07T17:26:00.001+08:00

In life, people come and go dont they?

but i dont want you to go ):

2011-03-06T15:09:00.000+08:00

everytime i think that im thinking too much, i tend to end up in the kitchen cooking up weird food items.

like today,
panfried sausages in sambal and butter

hahaha and more often than not my younger sis is the victim of my food experiments because its just us two at home and thats our lunch of the day.

so maybe i should set up a restaurant. Everytime something clogs up space real badly in my mind i come up with a new dish.

way too many things.